Letting go is hard to do. Admitting and realizing that there is a peace and happiness that you deserve is the first step in releasing those thoughts, pain, habits and beliefs that are holding you back.
I believe that I have been in a rut for 7 years. Wow, I didn't know it was that long! I'm actually just realizing that it has been that long. As I sit here and write I am almost in tears as I calculate how many days, weeks and minutes 7 years translates into.
As foggy as the 7 years are--the day that my descent into my rut or the abyss is clear. It was the day that my now estranged husband admitted (as I held the paternity papers in my hands) that he had a child that was conceived during our relationship. In that moment our marriage, my life and our daughter's life would never be the same.
My fragile self was crushed and what I thought I could rely on was really a lie.
There are many twist and turns in the last 7 years. Some bad but again as I think about it many times were good. I have come out a little bruised but I am still here. I know that it is only by His grace and mercy that I am still standing.
My health (I gained 70 pounds and have elevated blood pressure), personal finances and some other areas are collateral damage but I know that I am strong and I am a survivor.
It is my intention to use this blog as a record of regaining what was lost and celebrating what will be found.
This is my story...what is yours?
xo,
Just Jay
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